Sure, they get angry with one another, as do all brothers, but they forgive and move on. Lovers often feel proud when they see their beloved in action. Looking for some extra money from your parents? They have everything to do with your strength, and what you've endured. The reader alone is responsible for any action they take as a result of reading this website. Ah. To be proud of yourself for your success is one thing, for another is to be proud, they had better have seen you come up through the trenches to witness that moment or to have been involved in the process. A teacher or a mentor can be proud of their student, but you can't really be proud of your peers. You had nothing whatsoever to do with any of this you pond-bottom suckers.. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. But what does proud mean? Go To Homepage. I still think she was doing this at the time. When someone says Im proud of you, first of all thanking them is the common response we usually have. Gun owners are more likely than non-gun owners to know someone who has been shot (51% vs. 40% of non-owners). Its obviously a powerful word. Well also discuss the power of words, the benefits of responding with gratitude, and how to show appreciation to others. If you're a friend, it's friendly. I thought to myself, who is she to be proud of me? 7. I can make it possible only because you give me hope. You will even fall in love with me again seeing the next surprise! 26. 3. Second, this very fact helps explain why we resent it if the praise comes from someone who isnt viewed as a mentor. 14. Basically, its an ambiguous expression. I wanted to know whether or not I was overreacting.He had no hand in my achievements and since he was the one who caused me those problems, I feel he has lost every right to use that phrase with me. So, if youve achieved something in your educational or professional field, and someone informs you theyre proud of you, it means you did a great job there. Congratulations to our dearest son. You must log in or register to reply here. But this will be seen as an overreaction. When you respond to someones words of admiration with gratitude, youre showing that you value and respect them. I wouldnt say Im proud of you in this situation. What would replace this oh-so-common parenting expression? The best way to do this is to express your own feelings of appreciation and gratitude for their words. Anyone who overthinks any form of compliments or think's that there are hidden agendas or people are not being completely honest about what they say, should take a step back and ask themselves why they are thinking those thoughts, personally i believe it's more about them and not what is being said about the phrase. The Four Words That Can Protect Your Child's Mental Health, Parenting Behaviours Linked to Suicide Amongst Adolescents, How to let your children know you are proud of them (Very Well Family), First published 28th August, 2014. 3. Use words that will strengthen your relationship. I cannot understand that and think he is misusing the word. When someone says Im proud of you, its important to take the time to think about how you want to respond. 5. Of course, the child may feel really pleased to hear this positive evaluation of their efforts. But, it can also be a bit overwhelming because it puts the spotlight on us and can make us feel exposed. I think that the phrase really bothers me, because its like saying, Wow, I didnt think you were good enough to ever achieve -insert whatever here.- My fiance said it to me last night while I was doing the dishes. When someone says Im proud of you, its important to take the time to think about how you want to respond. Narcissism can be a personality trait and a mental health disorder, and someone can have narcissistic tendencies without being labeled a "narcissist." When you live with narcissistic. The Next Giant Leap. This is why we say, I am very happy for you! They are the one to feel proudit was THEIR accomplishment. 13. Again, these phrases are my evaluation of my childs effort. That proud phrase didnt bother me at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I began to wonder, what does she mean when she says shes proud of me? Probably no big deal but would be interested in input from others especially other females. But I would also add another category: people who know you well *because* they have worked with you and even for you for a long time. Your friend wants to say "I am proud of you too, my friend". Dear! So - when a parent says, "Im so proud of you", is the parent taking the credit for the childs accomplishments? It seems to me that the authors of the study used the phrase 'I'm proud of you' as a catch-all measurement, to reflect a parent's emotional connection with, and support, for, their child - and that it was this emotional involvement that provided protection against suicidal ideation. Express your own feelings of appreciation and gratitude. 5. Thank you all, too. Now, of course, its diminished if the person throws the phrase around too casually to colleagues, all family members, etc., but if they are a genuine and caring person, then I believe it shows a deeper connection. The phrase "Im proud of you" insinuates that the speaker (parent, teacher, co-worker, boss) has more experience, or power, or in some manner has the right to pronounce their opinion, on someone elses effort. The only people there who went to university were the pharmacist, the physician/surgeon, lab technologist, x-ray technician and the like, as well as the school teachers. But, what would be the better ways to respond to I am proud of you other than just saying thank you. I am proud of them for being like this with one another. If a parent can say, Im proud of you, then can the parent also say the opposite , Children may become dependent on their parents (and others, such as teachers or grandparents) evaluation of their achievements. When we avoid the phrase Im proud of you, we allow our children to be their own person, to grow to their own potential - in a relationship of mutual respect. Let them know how much better you feel now that you're smokefree. They may find it difficult to take pride in who they are and what they have achieved. http://pbskids.org/rogers/songLyricsImProudOfYou.html. But what exactly does this phrase mean and how should you respond to it? Thanks to you, as well for being such a caring and supportive partner. Maybe instead of telling me hes proud of me, like its such a surprise, maybe he should have just offered to do the dishes. 9. It can be difficult to respond to Im proud of you if youre struggling with self-doubt. Focus on this thing or person for a few minutes to get yourself into a more positive mindset. So tell them it feels like you are bothering them. Wondering where that may be coming from. Someone who credibly says "I'm proud of you" usually has two characteristics. Dont just thank them, you can reply with some cute responses to let them know that youre proud the same as they are. May these Proud Quotes On Success inspire you to take action so that you may live your dreams. Your thoughts and ideas are so creative, which has allowed you to refine your talent into something unique from others. Move away from the source of your negative thoughts. I'm so proud of your painting!" Because of this, it might feel awkward to say "I'm proud of you" to a friend or colleague, even if you mean it. You have always been there for me and our friendship is something that will never go away. Thank you, mom and dad, youre the reason for this. Thats why its important to take their words seriously and to respond in a meaningful way. ". Why is your manager taking credit for the work you put into the report? Be proud of who you are. I don't think you . Interesting perspective. It makes us feel seen, understood, and appreciated. Well done!. Its also important to remember the power of positive reinforcement and the benefits of responding with gratitude. Might you quietly ask yourself Who was it that put in the hard hours to get a good report? 1. Her future mother-in-law (my friend) told me later she was proud of me. There are some super special and engaging responses you can give when someone very close to you, says that theyre proud of you. Youre the first person who is happy with it. Health Gap. This topic came to mind because I recently saw a friend / mentor and told him about a meaningful professional accomplishment. Whatever you did today was the way it was meant to be. Prior to going back, I asked if shed be going to the homecoming tailgate and football game. This is when his feelings go deeper than the surface, and he genuinely cares about you as a person. Updated 7th September 2016; and 19th April 2019. Also, as bilabial says, I like the recognize traits he values in himself, like his thoroughness and carefulness. Briefly, some difficulties include: Four-year-old John shows his Mum a painting he's just done. Last Updated on February 28, 2023 by Ketan. Whoever those people are, they are probably your mentors. My former partner just recently told me that he was proud of me after major accomplishment. "I know someone in recovery". If you're more than a friend it's more loving. You must be so proud of how you're doing!"). We learn from every step we take. If you had a hand in that success then I think it is ok to say, I am so proud of you as it does imply that the speaker played a part. I was very irritated and angry. Do you mean you are also proud of yourself or that you are proud of the other person? I like what Chris Yeh said about the (phrase/declaration), Im proud of you, He gets a "that's nice". I am so lucky to have you in my life and your . I am trying very, very hard not to implode. I have a one year old boy and a two month old boy, and I had my first day back at work yesterday. And, that nearest person could be your parents, partner, or friends. Can't you do something different?" I dont care that I had to hear it from a video-taped personage. If parents don't 'approve' of their child, then they disapprove. When you say, "I'm proud of you," you may actually be simply rejoicing in another. Even if the other person's words and/or actions seem reprehensible, try to be as . Luke 18:9-14 ESV / 5 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. For Stein, the worst compliment is hearing: "You've lost soooo much weight! Think of things people have often praised. A good friend of mine, who has had a tough life, has just written and published her first book. We can all have slightly different interpretations of words which if not careful can start a war! Id opt for saying, Im happy for you. 1. What does it mean when a woman says she's proud of you? The important piece is if they are genuine in their caring (and have been consistent, contrary to the parent that was never there but then feels pride). First, he is probably higher status / higher power. He remembers things that you tell him. It got me thinking, "How many people could send me that sort of email?" Also, I really like the litmus test of how you would feel on the receiving end. Im proud of myself, although saying it out loud doesnt make it better. My husband just said it to me a couple of days ago (for a little achievement I just made in my physique) and it made me happy as well. When someone tells you that they are proud of you, not only are they impressed by something you did and who you are, but they also want others to know it. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? After reading these posts, I think the following: a person will feel pride in anothers accomplishment when they feel deeply connected with the other. Self-doubt can make it hard to accept compliments and to express gratitude for the words of others. Youre like my sister from another mother. by Carolyn Steber. The Obama campaign needs to walk this one back and pronto. 4. They can be proud; we should be happy for them, and grateful that we played any part in it. This can help to create stronger relationships and can help to create a positive and constructive environment. Well cover some of the better responses you can give, like thanking them, making them feel special, or making them laugh. Thanks. Maybe Im mad, because it makes me feel like he thinks I wasnt doing enough before I started back at work- like carrying children inside of my body for nearly two years, plus birthing them, plus never sleeping, plus cleaning for HOURS upon HOURS everyday, plus cooking, plus plus plus wasnt enough to be proud of. I was damned proud of her for overcoming this setback and told her so. You could feel annoyed and put out. 27. . 3. And they both say that you're over and done with me. There are alternatives to praise and saying "Im proud of you", and they include: I consciously have to stop myself from saying "Im proud of you". Image used under license from Shutterstock, Larissa Dann. Tell Them You Care. After all, you were the one who put the effort into writing the report you did the research, you put the paper together. 4. Future Planet. It's nothing bad or unusual. She only ever said it once but it has stuck with me forever: But if someone says this to you, without further explanation, then it means that you are not a priority to them, they have other things that they are doing. Isnt she elevating herself above me to oversea my behaviors to make sure I was a good little girl? Setting goals you can achieve, also called "realist goals," reduces the chance of frustration or doubting yourself or your abilities. 4. A special note on research suggesting that parents saying "I'm proud of you" prevents future mental illness and suicidal ideation in their children. She reciprocated. 17. 1. Most of the time you spend together is in the bedroom. The next morning, I woke up to an email in my inbox that was one line: "I'm really proud of you." I did like here. Hearing those words can make us feel seen, understood, and appreciated. Here are 5 other ways to say "I'm proud of you" to older children: 06 "It's been an honor to watch you grow up." This can be used for both a teen and an adult. If youre proud of me, buy me a pizza, then. Here are some examples of what you shouldn't say to someone on their sober anniversary. Don't remind them how far they've come. Marilyn, My life changed the day I heard Mr. Rogers tell me he liked me just the way I was. Children whose parents constantly say "I'm proud of you" may grow to be adults who rely on other people's opinion of them for validation. . People Who Say These 5 Words Have Very Low Emotional Intelligence. PJ, I think your ex still cares for you so your accomplishments evoke pride in her. Thank you. The administrator takes no responsibility for any action or outcome a reader may make as a result of reading a post. I live about 200 miles from the old college & she lives in the same town as the college is located. I am livid because a couple of arrogant, condescending people who had been known briefly, posted, We are so proud and impressed, on a stinking FB page, I do not use FB, etc. I can point them out to my friends and say, Those are my sons!. But, when you want to make your responses more effective and special, these are some good ways to do it. Show your appreciation for their words and use your response to create a positive and constructive environment. She says "Good boy. When someone says Im proud of you, they are investing in you and putting themselves out there. It means that in their eyes you have come a long way from a place you began. Believe me when I tell you that it is not meant so kindly elsewhere. 13. They can be in dictionaries but over time can have slightly different meanings depending how they are used. You shouldnt be. You certainly will. The effect of this praise might be opposite to the aim of the parent. The parent might have paid a lot of money, or given up time, to coach and practice tennis with their winning child. I'm so proud of your painting!" But who are you to affirm? What do they perceive - when a parent (or teacher) says "Im proud of you"? In what context. I'll help with whatever you need to make it . Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Plus, they also express how proud they are, when you do something special for them. When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre reinforcing the positive behavior that you want to see in yourself and others. You should always be proud of who you are imo, and if that includes your nationality then that's fine. I believe many people do not understand and appreciate the expression Im proud FOR you. But I believe that spouses say it, and siblings. Happy I did it, finally! Its more potent because they have seen struggles in their life, and within that perspective, they still acknowledge the effort I have put into the achievement as deserving of recognition. When someone says Im proud of you, they are expressing their admiration, respect, and gratitude for something you have done. 15. 2. After reading this, I now believe its because I dont look up to him in any way and he doesnt know me so well as to fully appreciate my accomplishment like my family would. And Ill encourage them to be proud. . The Psychology of Bragging. Whatever influence we had on the person, or information we gave the person, what they did with it is their accomplishment not ours. Imperfect, striving, playful, loving, learning. So we arranged to have her drive to the hotel where I was staying and we drove there together. I think the internet and social media have eaten her brain that she would not only allow their @#[emailprotected] clueless comment to remain public, but that she thanked them? Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means theyre happy to see, 43 Motivational Messages For Hard Working Boyfriend, funny excuses to ask for money from your parents, How to tell your parents that you have a girlfriend, 9 Best Answers To How Was Your Interview?, 16 Clever Comebacks When Someone Tells You To Grow Up, 18 Best Responses To Backhanded Compliments On Social Media. When I tell my kids Im proud they are surprised and pleased. I avoid "well done" or "good job" for all the reasons Ive stopped saying "Im proud of you". Ive been waiting for a long time to give you this surprise! I was actually kicked out of my house at 16 by her and her new husband and had financial trouble during my years in school that she had contributed to, how in the hell can she be proud of me when all she did was hinder me? Look him in the eyes and smile. 12. Whatever I did, I just did it for our friendship, Bro. The same trope appears in many childrens movies (Babe, Mulan)is there anything more important to a child than their parents love and approval? . 7. Hearing those words can make us feel seen, understood, and appreciated.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[970,90],'howdoirespondto_com-box-4','ezslot_3',180,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-howdoirespondto_com-box-4-0'); Its important to remember that the power of words goes both ways. Even if it's true, he says, "I don't want to think that I was walking around for a long time looking like hell.". As if Im mentally retarded and reading a book for the first time in my life, and hoping to get a cookie and a star sticker. "If by a "Liberal" they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people-their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights and their civil liberties-someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad, if that is . They just say it. Yes, I'm sure you've come across "me too" in such situations, but it's very often ambiguous, or sounds arrogant. Is it OK to respond to "I am proud of you" with "Me to", "So do I", and "I am too", and "I am proud of you too"? And why should I stop using this phrase? One man said, "I am so proud of my partner when we are at receptions together; many men are around her wishing to make love to her . the person who says that is actually talking about themselves, not about me, and by saying that is drawing the recognition away from me towards themselves. Is your partner proud because they can now be associated with a high achiever? Well, that means theyre impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. I believe the effort has been worth it for my children, and our relationship. Here I would say something like, Youre so talented!/Thats brilliant! We laughed a lot and re-lived some old memories. I have always struggled with this word. How might you feel as the worker? She states I always tell someone I am proud of them. For me, this was a huge take-away moment. She is an accredited and highly experienced P.E.T. An FBI witness says that members of the far-right Proud Boys had hoped to assassinate Vice President Mike Pence and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi during last week's violent storming of the U.S . How often do we utter this common parenting phrase, in moments of pleasure at our childs latest achievement? Thank you so much for this great compliment. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When someone knows that you are not only proud, but you are inspired and amazed, it will be an even better compliment. He thinks you're absolutely wonderful and he's pumped to be in a relationship with you; it's written all over his face. I had a lot of this type of treatment in that small community. They seem to make him quite happy. There may be times when he gets some details wrong, but no one is taking score about who gets the fine points right most of the time. Who is saying this to whom? If Your Partner Ever Says These 20 Things, You Should Break Up. But you'd like some clarity on what he really means when he says that. They may become adults who are vulnerable, who do not have a strong sense of self-worth. Family Tree. And black adults (57%) are more likely than whites (43%) or Hispanics (42%) to know someone who falls into . Yes, I think this is why my friend, even though older, was proud of me, I felt was being presumptious to put herself above me. Its probably contempt and anger. Talents Compliments. Had I ever thought about the meaning behind these words? Thank you for starting this. In what context? Oh.. very good. That would have shown so much more appreciation for what I do 24 hours a day, instead of a measely Im proud of you.. 24. One might consider that the mature thing to do, or the business savvy thing to do, but she has had nothing to do with them for years, because they are arrogant and condescending. One of the wives of these manual labourers had befriended me in church and was an older woman. It means she feels proud for what you've done or achieved. Grandparents And Grandchildren: Observations From A Parent In-Between. All rights reserved. You are asked at the cocktail party what you do. For what? In these instances, simply saying "Wow" (and meaning it) will let them know you're proud. "How I do love you!" Reading the Parent Effectiveness Training book, or attending a PET course, will help develop positive and respectful parent-child relationships, and explore alternatives to praise. posted by aimedwander at 4:27 PM on May 17, 2015 . A person receiving this praise could also feel belittled it could feel as though their achievement was unexpected - a surprise to the other person. So, how should we respond to Im proud of you? If these 10 phrases come up often, they're signs he doesn't want a relationship with you, and you should move on with someone who can be the person you deserve. If this is the case, then of whom is the parent really proud? I am in awe of your talent and accomplishments. I use the other terms like Im so happy for you. Approval is different to acceptance. As parents, it's important to stay calm and resist the urge to blame our kids or anyone else, really for our emotions. The other three sound as if you're saying you're proud of yourself too. They often tell each other they are proud of one anothers achievements and they all know its genuine. Kids also like to know that they invoke parental prideas long as it genuine! With the best of intentions, we want to let our children know of our pride in them. I was excited to see your reaction. He loves to share his unique perspectives and ways to make everyday conversations a bit 'lively'. But I want to let you know that I accept you whether I agree with you or not, and I'm committed to working on our relationship so we both feel . Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before stumbling. Consequently I now cringe every time I hear the term being used out of context . You could also feel patronised. (Of course, there are always people who try to suck up to youbut hopefully you can see through it!) I really dont see that she had a direct influence in what I chose to do. Ive been totally using that word all wrong sheesh, all the complaints about the misuse of the word makes me feel bad about what and how I been addressing my peers and friends. Who put in the practice in order to win that tennis match? 5. From what I read, she falls into the category of know them well but I wonder if its not something a bit out of place. Renew your PET skills; complete the full course over flexible times; or one-off parenting sessions. If you get a new job, get a participants medal for a 10K or do anything deemed worthwhile, friends, family and acquaintances will say they are so proud of you!!!. It isnt. What does it mean when someone tells you that they are proud of you? 25. When my parents tell me that they are proud of me, I generally take it to mean that they recognize something I have done on my own merit as being worthy of praise. For what? Home / How Do I Respond To Im proud of you? When someone insults you, the first thing you want to do is take a pause and a deep breath. Hosted by Pressable. Granted that in many relationships, Im proud of you would strike a patronizing or otherwise false note. Give yourself time to process your reaction to something before jumping in with a response. For going back to work when Im still hardly sleeping, due to having an 8 week old at home? You worked so hard, you really deserve that job! I wish everyone had a genuine friend like you. Aw yeah, yeah, yeah. Graduates: TBA, Grandparents: PET for Grandparents. If you want to reply saying you're proud of the person saying he's proud of you, the only correct answer out of those four is "I'm proud of you too". "A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you." - C.S Lewis 2. Just let them be. I was talking about this statement Im Proud of you to a friend.I was annoyed about someone saying they were proud of me who barley knows me. I think children want simply to be accepted and respected as themselves. But it had a very positive impact on this one child. Pause, take a deep breath, and remember who you really are. I admire your ability to ___________. But, its important to remember that responding to Im proud of you with gratitude can help to boost your confidence and will help you to overcome your self-doubt. But the Bible warns us against a self-centered, egotistical pride that says, "Look at me; look at . Better than nothing, Neil, but its sad, Mr. Rogers had to do what parents ought to be doing. "I wish I had met you. "), Friend: "I'm proud of you for being brave and standing up to your boss", As the friend who has found that courage, is this statement something you would appreciate? Here subject and object are the same person. At the same time, the paper stated that "a key is to ensure that children feel positively connected to their parents and family," and that parents needed to demonstrate to their children that "they cared about them", that they "had their back". Get your facts straight. Most of the time, having pride about someone else comes from a place of superiority. 1. To me, to be proud of someone, you do not have to be above them in any way although that is usually the case ie older or more experienced (or snobbish if that is how you are) To me, you do have to have some connection with the person you are proud of. My friends tell me that rather often so like once every month or so, which I think is a lot, if you say it more often you'll take it for granted for sure. In the South, people are proud of you if they know you. 10. Most of the time, to be proud of someone means you know where they've been and how far they've come pride is a word about growth. 9. In this sense, a mentor is a parent that you choose, and the desire for his or her love and approval is as natural as the desire for that of a parents pride. 8. She says "Good boy. 16. It's a way of congratulating someone for having accomplished something impressive. Larissa is passionate about the skills taught in Effectiveness Training. Its my feeling that I should only express pride in something Ive accomplished. How many people in your life can say, "I'm proud of you," and you take it fully and without any sort of resentment or dismissal?